Lovely Sad
by The Young Pilgrim
Summary: AU. Series 4 rewrite. What if Freddie didn't die? What if someone else did instead?


**A/N: I posted a brief summary of my alternate version of Skins Season 4 on Tumblr and I was told to write it, so I am.**

**Disclaimer: The only thing skins-related I own is a poster. A signed poster hanging proudly in my room.**

**All mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

* * *

**_Lovely Sad_**

_So now_  
_Here you are_  
_Feeling numb_  
_On the fence_  
_On the run_  
_Down and out_  
_Such a drag_  
_We're all sad_  
_But to me we're lovely sad_

**_- The Maine_**

* * *

**Sophia**

As soon as the powder was gone, she felt the drugs kicking in, hard. The cold of the brick wall she was leaning against began seeping in through her clothes, nesting deep in the hollows of her bones. The shadows in the dark stairwell began shifting, taking on human form, taunting her, calling her toward the darkness, toward them. They beckoned her up the stairs, slinking backwards with one long finger daring her to come forward. She forced herself closer to the wall, clinging to the burning cold, hoping it kept her grounded.

But the shadows don't take no for an answer. They surged forward, clawing at her skins, ripping open holes for the cold to infiltrate even further into her, allowing the bitter frost to burrow into her brain. She had to get away from the cold, from the shadows, from everything. She ran up the staircase, ignoring the stares she received from some couple she managed to interrupt.

She burst through the doors and into the very club she had been avoiding. It was warm, no not warm, hot. Hot enough to thaw the cold for the time being. The flashing lights forced the shadows to retreat into the pools of darkness sitting where the light couldn't reach. She avoided those pools as she danced through the crowd, eyes closed, head tilted back, arms open as if she was trying to absorb the warmth radiating off the bodies dancing and romping around her.

Some boy knocked into her, forcing her eyes open. She recognized him, she thought. He and his girlfriend hung out with _her_ sometimes. Her eyes opened, she looked around, unconsciously searching for ice blue eyes that always shepherded in the cold. In the process she stumbled into another body. The boy she knocked into was standing off to the side, in one of those pools of darkness. Her eyes traced up his body, it was shrouded in darkness, his eyes nothing more than sunken twilight. She tried to step back, to turn away from the shadows, but in her drunken stupor she just wasn't fast enough.

Long black limbs encircled her body, trapping her, holding her in the darkness, allowing the cold to seep in. She twisted and fought, she scratched at the darkness, hoping to tear its armor enough to let the daylight leak through. But it was strong, stronger than it used to be. It's spindly legs began moving forward, toward a flight of stairs, dragging her along with it.

_She_ was there, on the staircase, _her_ hands moving under _her_ girlfriend's shirt, stroking up and down her back as _her_ lips waged war with pure light. A pure light that only served to make her shadows look even darker.

She gave in then, allowing the shadows to tow her along. She made it up to the top of stairs and stopped. There was a light brighter than anything she had ever seen just in front of her, all she had to do was reach for it. If she could just reach that light she'd be okay. She pulled herself up to the top of the railing, her shadows propping her up as she lifted her arms toward the light. Just one more step. She opened her eyes one last time, stared into the light, and took that last step.

And as she was falling, she stretched her arms as far as they would go, just inches away from that blessed light. She was so close, she could feel her finger tips thawing out, she could feel the warmth pulling her closer. Just as she was about to reach it, the shadows lurking below craned their necks ever closer to her frail body, with one sharp motion, they snapped their jaws around her, forever encasing her in a darkness impenetrable by light.

* * *

**Emily**

Emily saw her walk past them. The girl looked just like everyone else, wasted out of her mind. Though she thought her eyes were a bit sadder, a bit darker than the eyes of depraved youth all around them.

She didn't see her again until she heard the solid _thud_ of her body careening into the floor. Naomi jumped away from their embrace and turned to stare at the chaos below them.

A swarm of teenagers surrounded her lifeless body, none of them having the decency to turn away and call for help, even if it was far too late. Emily couldn't stand the site of that poor girl's blood dripping down her face. It was a stark contrast to her almost translucent skin, the more the blood leaked out, the more pale she became. Emily turned away, her hand covering her mouth trying to keep the churning in her stomach from escaping between her lips.

Naomi was still staring. How was she still staring? How could she stand the sight of that fragile body contorted in unnatural shapes?

The music cut out. She wished it hadn't. All she could hear was screaming. Hundreds of shocked and horrified screams bounced off the walls. Emily tilted her head forward and covered her ears, praying to god that this would all stop soon enough. Then she felt a hand, Naomi's hand, on the small of her back. Naomi was pushing Emily forward, trying to get her to walk down the stairs, but Emily wouldn't budge, couldn't budge, she couldn't get any closer to that body. Naomi leaned forward, pressing her entire body into Emily's back.

"Babe, we need to get out of here," she whispered into Emily's ear. As an afterthought she added, "You don't look well, I want to get you home."

Emily turned her body and wrapped her arms around Naomi's thin frame. Naomi returned the favor, squeezing Emily even more tightly.

"I don't want to go home," Emily mumbled into her shoulder.

"I meant mine, not yours." Naomi leaned back to look at Emily's face. When Emily looked up she dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Naomi grabbed Emily's hand and led her down the stairs and out into the night. It had grown cold now that the sun was down, both girls rubbed roughly at their arms, trying to stir up enough friction to warm up a little.

"I'll call a cab," Naomi said as she took a step away from Emily.

* * *

**Naomi**

Emily had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Though Naomi tried to focus on the even breathing of the warm body pressed against her, she wasn't nearly as lucky. Every time she was about to drift off, either Emily would flail about in her sleep, her nightmares obviously holding her unconscious mind under duress, or Naomi's own mind would suddenly wake up, causing her thoughts to trash about her skull. Violent thoughts of Sophia's body slamming into the hard ground littered her brain, playing on repeat for what felt like hours. Naomi couldn't take it; the feelings of loss, of hopelessness, of guilt were swirling together, driving her mad. She had to get away from it all.

She pulled her arm from underneath Emily and slowly scooched her body away, making sure to keep the bed as steady as possible. Once she was clear of the little redhead, she rolled off the bed and stepped toward her dresser. From the jewelry box on top of it, she pulled out two pre-rolled joints and a lighter. With one last look cast toward her girlfriend, she walked out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and out her front door.

Once she was safely outside, she lit up the spliff before she pulled out her phone and dialed a number she shouldn't have known by heart.

_"'lo?"_

"Cook, I need to talk to you."

_"What d'you need?"_

"Just meet me at the park. Please?"

_"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there."_

Naomi clicked her phone off and went back inside to fetch a blanket, a jumper, a bottle of vodka, and a bag to put it all in, taking a puff from her joint here and there as she went.

By the time she found everything and walked the few blocks to the park, Cook was already leaning against their tree, smoking a cigarette. His clothes were rumpled and every single hair was out of place. When Naomi got closer, the ember cast just enough light on his face that she was able to the beginnings of a bruise.

"What happened to you?"

He turned toward her and smiled a manic smile as she approached. "Some posh wanker tried to 'ave a go. Put an end to that right quick."

She rolled her eyes as she rooted around her bag for the bottle of vodka. Once she found it she took a heavy sip before offering it to Cook.

He took an easy swig and passed it back before saying, "So is this all I'm here for?"

"More or less." She shrugged.

Naomi set up the blanket on the ground and plopped down against the tree. She pulled out the spliff and before she could bring it to her lips, Cook snatched it and light it with his cigarette before flicking it away. He took a heavy hit and sat down across from Naomi before handing it back to her. They sat there, sharing spliff and vodka in silence until the sun started to rise.

Naomi took the last sip of the vodka before taking a deep breath. She looked up at Cook, her eyes wide and wild. "We fucked up." Her voice broke on the last word. A few stray tears dripped down her face. Naomi let them fall.

All Cook could do was put his arm around her shoulder and agree.

* * *

**Good? Bad? Let me know if you're feelin' up to it.**

**Thanks for reading!**


End file.
